I realized a very long time ago that I'm a perfectionist. It's just how I was made. Perhaps it was a gift from God...although how I'm supposed to use it is a mystery. I do know, though, that one way I'm not supposed to use it is by being a control freak. Now that is a hard habit to break! But, ever since it dawned on me that I tend to want to control each and every thing (and person) around me, I have been trying to break that nasty habit. I have learned to let go. I've learned to trust that others will do a good job, and if they don't...oh well. Not the end of the world.
But, it has only been recently that I've noticed my perfectionist/controlling nature is tainting just about every area of my life. I'm sure I don't even realize, yet, the full extent of this "disease"! I thought I'd share one example. This will probably sound silly to most of you. But I'm thinking if there are any perfectionists out there reading, this may strike a chord with them.
So, back to the cereal...
My favorite kind of cereal right now has crispy flakes made out of some kind of grain (???) and dehydrated slices of strawberries. The strawberries get all soft and yummy when I add milk. When I open a new box, pretty much all of the strawberries have worked their way to the top of the box. This causes my first bowl to be about 1/3 cereal and 2/3 strawberries. For a strawberry lover, this is divine! However, if you eat that first bowl just like that, it means your next bowls have maybe two or three strawberries in them. My habit, upon opening a new box, has been to pour the first bowl and then spoon most of those strawberries back into the box. I wanted to have a perfect mix of strawberries and cereal in every bowl to the very end. Perfect and controlled, right?
Well...after doing this for about a year (yes, I really love this cereal!) it occurred to me that here was one area where I was being a control freak. My litmus test for things tends to be: "am I living today to the fullest?" and "will I regret this when I'm 80?" I started thinking what if I pour that first bowl, scoop most of the strawberries back into the box, and then die before I get to the second bowl? Wouldn't it be better to pour the first bowl with all of those glorious strawberries and have a feast of fruity cereal and really enjoy it?! Then, if I live to see the bottom of that box of cereal, I can enjoy that last bowl as a celebration that I survived my cereal! No regrets. I'm living for today and not worrying about tomorrow. I changed that bad cereal habit instantly, and I LOVE that first bowl. It is awesome! It brings a smile to my face. And you know what? I love every bowl after that because I don't feel burdened by perfectionism.
I know, I know. This is sounding so wack-o to many of you! But, this realization has been so freeing to me. It has spilled over into areas of my life in which I had been chained by my perfectionism. I'm not hanging on to stuff anymore. For example, I buy craft supplies for the kids, but so many times I would keep holding on to some of it because I was waiting for just the right craft to use it on. It had to be something special or perfect. Recently I just dumped it all into a big box and told the kids to have at it. They are having a blast, and I'm realizing it's just craft things...it can be repurchased if needed...and the kids are loving it. I'm learning to let go, and it feels good!
Well, thanks for listening. I'm off to eat the last bowl out of my box cereal, and I'm thrilled that I survived another box! And if I live to see tomorrow, I'm having a strawberry party first thing in the morning!
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."
(from the Bible, Matthew chapter 6, verse 34)
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