...all things good...

Why would I title this entry that way? Certainly things are not all good in my family right now. We've been dealt a devastating blow. For three months we've been anticipating a new baby in our family. A precious, tiny babe to be born in August. Everyone in the family was excited beyond words. Big brother wished for a girl. Little brother (who was excited about becoming a big brother) hoped for a boy. Mom and Dad would be completely thrilled with a son or daughter.

Then the proverbial bomb dropped. We were told our baby was sick. That there was a 100% probability that our tiny one would die before my pregnancy reached 5 months in time. Two weeks after that discovery, my baby died. I never got to meet my child. I didn't even know if we had been blessed with a son or daughter. We didn't know exactly what caused the illness in the baby. I had to have surgery, and tests would be done.

Today I got a call from my doctor. He explained the results of tests. He explained that the condition that took my baby's life is extremely rare, and it would never repeat if I became pregnant again. Then he told me that my baby was a girl. My daughter.

I am in extreme emotional pain. It has been three weeks since my baby died, yet today it feels more real than ever. I finally know who to grieve. I grieve the loss of my daughter.

Because of my Christian faith in God, I know that I will meet my precious babe some day in Heaven. My baby went from my womb to Jesus' arms. And because of my faith, I know that even though I am in pain here on earth...even though I would much rather have that baby in my arms right now...God loves me.

The Bible tells me in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called accordingly to His purpose." I do love God. And I have been called to Him to accept Jesus as my Savior. And when the Bible says "in all things" it means all good things and all bad things.

In spite of the bad that has happened in my life recently, I am praising God. I am thanking Him for loving me enough to send His Son to die for me. I am thanking Him for the beautiful boys He has blessed me with. I am praising Him for being the Creator of Heaven and Earth. I am singing of my love for Him...through my tears.

So how does this fit in with a theme of "daring to live"? Well, I'm daring to not be bitter. Some may ask, "why me?" I ask, "why not me?" I'm daring to not place blame on God. This isn't His fault.

And if you can believe it, I am thanking Him for giving me this precious child...even if it was only for a moment. We had two weeks between finding out our baby wouldn't make it and the day our child actually died. Every night at bedtime, I would pray to God and thank Him for one more day with my child. I would thank Him for allowing me to see my baby, alive, through a few sonograms. I cherished every moment of extreme morning sickness as physical proof the child was with me. The child was real. The child was a gift from our Creator. I'm daring to be joyful in the midst of pain.

Do you, perhaps, need to change your view on the storms in your life? If so, I dare you. It might just change your life.