Yesterday was the perfect Autumn day. It was bright and sunny, but just cool enough to require jackets. My boys and I had fun plans, too. Our good friend, Diane, and her son, Christian, had invited us to go to an apple orchard with them. The boys were excited, and we headed out just after breakfast. This apple orchard is just under an hour away from home, but it is worth the drive. Besides having yummy apples and even yummier cider donuts and baked goods, they have a lot of fun things for the kids to play on. We spent several hours there letting the boys play on tractors, playground equipment, a hay maze, and a mini-bus to name a few activities. They also played miniature golf and rode an unusual "train" made from some kind of plastic barrels on wheels that were linked together and pulled by a tractor. We had lunch there, and then let the boys play some more.
Perfect day. Great new memories.
Perfect day. Great new memories.
Well, in reality, it would have been, but...
...on the drive to the orchard, I fell to pieces. I cried and prayed while the boys chatted away behind me. This was just one new memory that was going to be hard to make.
Two years ago (probably October of 2005) my boys and I visited that particular orchard with Diane and her husband, Joel. They brought with them Christian and their oldest son, Julian....oh! and Grandma and Grandpa, too! It was freezing cold, but we stayed probably even longer that day than we did yesterday. It was such a fun day and still is a really great memory for me. It was my first trip to a fun apple orchard like that. Diane and Joel had been going for years. It was a family tradition for them, and I felt so honored to be invited!
Then in May 2006, Joel and Diane's oldest son, Julian......died. That's the awful reality that I'm still trying to accept. We miss him more than words can say. Yesterday was such a bittersweet day. Our boys had so much fun. But it just wasn't the same without Julian. And it never will be. We have to go on making new memories in life. That's the way it is whether we like it or not.
While I feel confident that God has a perfect plan for everyone, life still hurts sometimes. We have to force ourselves to see the perfect that is often hidden in the imperfect. Yesterday was a beautiful day. We were surrounded by children, including our own, who were loving life. We were enjoying the sweet abundance of the harvest. I can praise my God through tears and sadness. I can experience joy along with pain. He gives me the courage to live and the strength to love Him in the midst of sorrow.
God is good. I promise you.
